I was about ready to share this with a friend when I remembered what day it is.

Enough of this nonsense. Just try to get me home on time.

Unless there is a formal press release by the MTA or CDOT, no one should buy this.

That is the UGLIEST paint scheme on a Genny I’ve ever seen!

Nope. Not real.

Admittedly, I designed the scheme to be as ugly as possible, while still looking like one of the New York Central’s old designs, just to get everyone’s goat. While at some point in the future it would certainly be cool to see a heritage unit program at Metro-North, there are a lot of more important things the railroad needs to do, and has begun to do, before any of that.

While clearly the main goal of this site is to present history and photography, I Ride the Harlem Line itself has a long history of pulling everybody’s leg on the first of April. Here’s a look back at some of the pranks we’ve pulled over the past few years, April Fools’ and otherwise.

April Fools’ 2013: Turtle fossils found in East Side Access Tunnel

Some strange turtle fossils discovered in the East Side Access tunnel have set the project back indefinitely… The very large fossil could be a “completely new species, or perhaps a mutant of some sort…” Also found with the turtles were “metallic items which appear to be tools” and “several colored ribbons.” Young citizens of New York were inconsolable… who the heck killed the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

April Fools’ 2012: Ride the Harlem Line to Millerton

Most likely the best prank we’ve ever pulled, it is also the one I would most love to see happen in real life – Metro North restoring the Harlem Line to Millerton. As most of you know, the Harlem Line once extended all the way through Columbia County into Chatham. In 1972 it was truncated at Dover Plains, and many years later was extended back into Wassaic by Metro-North. Restoring the line back up to Millerton certainly sounds nice, but I wouldn’t count on it in your lifetime.

2011 Prank: Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse, Ragnarok

To make sure you are ready for any issue, the MTA has released guides on how to prepare yourself for a wide variety of emergencies – hurricanes, blizzards, pirate attacks, the zombie apocalypse, alien invasions, even Ragnarok!

April Fools’ 2011: We’re repainting the M8s blue and putting them on the Harlem Line instead

Some spiffy new trains on the Harlem Line? Not an exceptionally believable prank, this one was from before the M8s actually went into service on the New Haven Line. Then again, we did fool News12…

Comically, News12 decided to use our photoshopped image while running a story about Metro-North earlier this year.

2010 Prank: Giant Pigeons on the New York and Harlem Railroad

Some of the New York and Harlem’s earliest trains were pulled by a special species of oversized pigeon, alas we New Yorkers hunted them to extinction in a panic after a bird flu epidemic.

Yes, this is the Hudson Line. Ossining, in fact. Metro-North service is still suspended, with no timetable for restoring service. Similar to Irene, the MTA has been keeping everyone apprised of what has been going on through their Flickr account. Some truly astonishing stuff. I couldn’t help poke fun at that one photo, however. Hopefully there will be service restoration soon, Metro-North is out surveying the damage, and hopefully not finding any more boats on the tracks…

Gary Waxman shows off the book

Yes, this book was designed while riding Metro-North

I was going to photoshop Santa getting patted down by the TSA for this – then I realized I didn’t have to, it had already happened for real. Needless to say, the TSA is why trains, and not planes (forget about those reindeer!), are the preferred method of transportation for Santa Claus this Christmas.

So when post-it notes began popping up in the evenings at the station, I noticed. They were everywhere. Even if you are not one of the observant riders, you probably noticed. Someone is trying to send a message to another commuter – and I attempted to imagine who was crafting these notes, and for whom they were posted. Beyond the fact that the creator has an English deficiency, I didn’t get too far with my pointless musings. Alright, maybe I was imagining in my head my roommate doing this, before heading to work at whatever gentleman’s club she is now employed. I’m glad whoever came to clean up the post-its had a sense of humor: they got rid of all the grammatically poor and overly sentimental notes, and kept my “fixed that for you” note.

 
  
   
  
 

However, if you ask me, we should begin a post-it revolution. Grab a pad, write something amusing, slap it somewhere in the station. We can certainly come up with better and more entertaining notes that at least have appropriately-placed apostrophes. Sure, it leaves more for those cleaning people to pick up (Whenever they actually come to the station, that is. Hell, while they’re at it, they can wash the windows so we don’t have to see crude phallic sketches in the layers of dust!), but it is less work than cleaning up graffiti. And it is somewhat amusing. Or at least I think so. But considering how easily amused I am, I may not be a good judge of that. Seriously though, let’s start a revolution to amuse people while they wait on the platform. Some of you sour-pusses certainly need it – after you finish up your breakfasts of lemons, of course.

 
  
   
  

Anyone who is employed by Metro-North’s customer relations department is bound to have quite the experience in being asked some pretty crazy questions. I know that in my short stint as a phone tech in a computer service center I was asked (and told) some pretty crazy things. Thankfully, I’ve been on the opposite side of customer service questions for quite a few years. I am the stupid customer. Or perhaps more apt – the trickster.

Trouble always seems to be two steps behind me, and I can’t resist playing a little joke every now and again. In this case, I couldn’t resist messing around with @MetroNorthTweet – Metro-North’s presence on the social-media site Twitter. I will not lie – I was aware that Ted, the normal person behind @MetroNorthTweet, was not around and another person would be monitoring the account. Yeah, that probably played a little part…

First, I had to set the stage. I’m so proud of myself, I thought of this on the train platform.

Now, I assure you, I had no intentions of messing with @MetroNorthTweet solely to post it here. Just the fact that other people started chiming in made me decide later on that I should post this. In fact, it was probably the highlight of my day! Thanks Metro-North, and Chamelle for being such a good sport!

Do you want to let everyone on the train know how well educated you are? Some “well educated” fashion may be just what the conductor ordered… It has always been my dream to have a “stupid people” clothing line… actually, no, I just made that up. But here are three delightful shirts that you can actually own – you can not only be the most well educated train rider, but by far the most fashionable!

Interested in being the best-dressed on your train? Get your own shirt by clicking on the design you want below!

The first note. Not really necessary, since nobody ever wants this seat.

He told me he read on the internet that the Bronx River Parkway was built so Babe Ruth could get to baseball games. I told him I didn’t believe him.

I’m not really sure what animal that is supposed to be…

Best part is the mouse in the corner that says, “Sucker, get a dog.”

I don’t think we’ll be seeing any seeing-eye cats anytime soon.

Unfortunately there will be no more Cat Facts for an indeterminate amount of time, as the artist has changed jobs and is no longer on my train.

I swear to you, I harbor no resentment towards track workers. Really.