Have you ever seen these awesome time lapse videos the MTA has done on the LIRR? When I first saw them, I decided I wanted to try the same thing at some point on the Harlem Line. Yesterday I finally got a chance to try it, unfortunately not in HD (didn’t have a big enough memory card to do the whole ride in HD). The ride first starts out in Grand Central, and heads all the way to Southeast. We make all local stops north of White Plains, with the exception of Mount Pleasant. The hour and twenty minute ride has been condensed into a little over six minutes.

Because I know a few of you more astute observers will find some issues with the video (signals? track?), I will say that this video was taken not from the cab, but from the rear of the train. The footage was reversed to make it appear like it was from the front of the train. This is my first attempt at a time lapse, and I think I’d like to try it again at some point. Perhaps in HD, and possibly from the front of the train, so everything doesn’t look wrong. But as a first attempt, I think this is a pretty cool way to see the Harlem Line.

In case you are unaware, I just wanted to let you all know that on Metro-North cows do not count as pets. People can, and do, take both dogs and cats on the train. That is a normal occurrence. However, one of my favorite questions to ask Metro-North employees is what is the craziest item you’ve ever seen a passenger attempt to bring on the train? I’ve heard quite the array of answers, from patio sets to snowblowers to sheetrock. Animals occasionally factor in – snakes, iguanas, (live) chickens… there are rumors of a goat on the Upper Harlem, but I’ve found no one to confirm this.

Anyone who is employed by Metro-North’s customer relations department is bound to have quite the experience in being asked some pretty crazy questions. I know that in my short stint as a phone tech in a computer service center I was asked (and told) some pretty crazy things. Thankfully, I’ve been on the opposite side of customer service questions for quite a few years. I am the stupid customer. Or perhaps more apt – the trickster.

Trouble always seems to be two steps behind me, and I can’t resist playing a little joke every now and again. In this case, I couldn’t resist messing around with @MetroNorthTweet – Metro-North’s presence on the social-media site Twitter. I will not lie – I was aware that Ted, the normal person behind @MetroNorthTweet, was not around and another person would be monitoring the account. Yeah, that probably played a little part…

First, I had to set the stage. I’m so proud of myself, I thought of this on the train platform.

Now, I assure you, I had no intentions of messing with @MetroNorthTweet solely to post it here. Just the fact that other people started chiming in made me decide later on that I should post this. In fact, it was probably the highlight of my day! Thanks Metro-North, and Chamelle for being such a good sport!

Today I have a random image of the day to share with everyone… And I must admit, I absolutely love it. Printed in an 1877 New York Central timetable is this engraving of the four tracks located alongside the Hudson River. The caption reads: Passenger Trains meeting each other while passing Freight Trains. Showing the Operation of the 4 Tracks.

Some weeks ago when I briefly visited the Switch Tower Museum in Norwalk I noticed they sold timetables and attempted to purchase a few. I believe the direct quote from the man operating the register was, “surely you jest” – as in this girl seriously collects timetables? In fact, this girl has an embarrassingly large collection of timetables. The entire collection will be up for viewing shortly. I was hoping to debut it last week, but I’ve hit some temporary snags. Until then, enjoy this little taste of the coolness that is to come. I absolutely adore the gorgeous illustrations in 1800′s timetables.

When I started this blog, the majority of it was observations about people I saw on the train, or while waiting for trains. I haven’t really done a post about my observations lately, but for the most part the majority of things I see are remembered as short tidbits, and nothing worth writing an entire post about. If I actually kept a diary, tidbits like these would likely be found inside… just quick thoughts about the things and people that surround me on a day-to-day basis. As I don’t really have anything to post today, I figured I’d leave you with a collection of some of my recent thoughts while riding the train. But rest assured, I am currently working on a pretty big project for the site, and when I (hopefully) debut it next week, I think you’ll all be pretty pleased.

People leave things on the train all the time. I was just thinking the other day, if someone was about to forget their phone, or bag, or wallet, I’d ask them if it were theirs, so they don’t get off the train without it. But then I realized what a terrible person I am – if you were about to forget a bag from Junior’s the only thing I’d say is, “that’s mine!” I don’t want your wallet, or your laptop. Just give me your cheesecake.

Sometimes the guy in the ticket booth at White Plains gets rather excited when he announces trains. Once I heard, “Now on trrrrack one is the train going to… nowhere. Never mind. This train only goes to North White Plains,” and, “Nooooooooowww on trrrrrack one is the 5:59 local trrrrrain to Southeast, making all local stops. Yes, this train will be making all the stops you know and love. Trrrrrrrack one.” I haven’t heard him lately, though. I wonder where he is.

When my train passes Mount Kisco in the evening, there is usually this dark-haired woman named Christine on the platform. I know nothing other than her name, and that she likes to laugh. Sometimes when the doors open I poke my head out and say, “Hello Christine.” I gave her my little card that has this website’s address on it once. Maybe she’s reading this right now. Hello, Christine!

Sometimes I see this girl on the platform when I wait for the train in the morning. She looks like she is in her early twenties, and has quite the assortment of Nike shoes and athletic attire. The only time we ever spoke was when she was drinking a bottle of soda and dropped the cap. We both watched, it was like slow motion, the cap hit the platform and rolled precariously close to the edge. I think I said to her, “Wow. I really thought that was going to fall!”

I have an overactive imagination. I also have a bad habit when I observe people, determining who they seem to resemble physically, and calling them that in my mind thence forward. Regular riders of my morning train are an older Sarah Palin, and an Amy Winehouse – minus the drugs.

I like to read books on the train, and I try to read a book per week. After calculating it out, I really only spend about six hours per week on the train – three of which are reading, and three of which are bullshitting with other people. It isn’t a lot of time when I compare it to hours using the computer. I probably am using the computer for ten hours, if not more, each week day. This is probably why I gained twenty pounds after graduating college.

Usually the train I take in the evening uses M3 equipment… though very rarely we have an M7 instead. The M7′s have that nice seat adjacent to the conductor’s cab, it is dark and quiet and away from all the other people. When I got on the train there was an old man sitting there. The next stop the train was going to be making was a short platform, so the conductor told people in the back of the train to move forward. A woman went to do just that, and the old man sitting by the door there just flipped out. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT SIGN IS THERE FOR?!?!” he shouted, while pointing at the sign to not cross through the cars while the train is in motion. The woman looked so afraid, like she was almost going to wet herself. The old man was relentless. Later on, after the old man had gotten off, I asked the conductor if he knew who he was. He told me the man worked for Metro North’s safety department. Too bad that detail was conveniently left out of his diatribe. I always wondered if she complained about the crazy man on her train…


In reality this cat’s name is Henry, and he is awesome

Walking to the train station the other day, this strange animal ran out in front of me. It took me a few moments to realize it was a cat, and not an ordinary cat, a three-legged cat. If I had a three-legged cat, I’d name him Tripod.

Sometimes the bus driver really freaks me out. One of these days he’s really going to flip the bus over. A few days ago he accidentally hit the curb so hard I was slammed into the window… and I have a several inch long bruise on my arm to prove it.

I follow @OWNEYtheDOG on twitter. For those who don’t know, Owney was a real dog that used to ride on mail trains back in the day. Owney was apparently murdered – shot dead, and was later brought to the taxidermist. He’s on display at the Post Office Museum in Washington DC. The thing that freaks me out is that whoever does the twitter posts as if they were that stuffed dog. This disturbs me. Even taxidermied dogs are on twitter! Next thing you know, my mother will be on there.

I’m used to people telling me that they like my hat. It does freak me out when they sneak up behind me and attempt to whisper it in my ear. Most especially if they reek of alcohol. However, the thing I really don’t get is why people during the summer ask me where my hat is. I may like hats, but I’m not an idiot.

My grandmother is wonderful. I think it takes only a little sip of alcohol to make her tipsy. She tells lots of good stories then… stories about the original Penn Station, of taking the train all over the country in the ’40s, being afraid her train was going to fall off the Horseshoe Curve… How she’d take the kids on the train and buy the cheaper child ticket, even though some of the kids were too old. Of course my one uncle would admit such to the conductor… the other just had such a bad temper, my grandmother told me she’d buy him rubber dog toys to take for the ride, he’d break all the regular toys.

When I get a text message, my phone makes the sound the M7 trains make. It baffles people at work meetings. It really baffles them when I’m riding my usual train – an M3. But then someone decides they’ll text me five times in quick succession. Then I just look like an idiot.

Everyone always wants to blame Metro-North, but sometimes it is the passengers’ fault that the train is late… like the time there was a man standing in the doorway that refused to move. Despite the conductor yelling at him, he still stalled the train.

I heard some news about banning smoking on the platform. I like this idea. I’d rather not be subjected to your disgusting and headache-inducing habit. Inevitably someone complains about the thought and says, “Remember when they even had smoking cars?” You know what I remember? The tar-black ceiling of Grand Central when I was a kid… all from cigarette smoke. Ah, yes. Nostalgia.

If I had to pick the station with the most obnoxious people, I’d likely pick White Plains. They are like animals there. They’ll push anybody over to board that train, even a little old lady with a cane. Because it is such a populated station, there are always going to be people running for the train and not quite making it. If the conductor kept the doors open for all of them, the train would never leave. When this happens the person usually shouts profanities at the conductor, and probably writes an angry note to Metro-North (I don’t think I could be a conductor, I don’t have thick enough skin). The most amusing part is that White Plains has the most trains of any station on the Harlem Line. In rush hour, there is another train in just five minutes. Is it really worth all that anger?

It is amusing to me how many people still attempt the old trick of hiding in the bathroom to evade paying the fare. Conductors should have mops available on all trains to give to these people. If they aren’t going to pay, and they are going to be in the bathroom, they might as well clean the damn thing while they are there.

After spending the majority of Sunday taking photos at New Haven Line stations, I have to admit that some of the stations are pretty cute. In fact, I want to take some of them home with me (and not this one). If one day you head over to Cannondale station, and you find that the building is missing, well, it might be in my backyard. In all seriousness, the station is quite adorable. Unfortunately it is currently empty and unoccupied – the small cafe that was inside shut down at the end of 2009. CDOT was looking to have a new tenant by summertime of 2010, but obviously that has not panned out.

Cannondale is one of the small stations located on the Danbury Branch, in the Cannondale section of Wilton. The station is located approximately 50 miles away from Grand Central. Cannondale’s claim-to-fame is having a company named after it – the Cannondale Bicycle Corporation. Their original logo featured the station and the tracks.

Photo credit to Scott who owns the bike.

On weekdays, Cannondale has around eleven trains total that head to Grand Central. In most instances riders have to change at either South Norwalk or Stamford, but there are three commuter express trains that head direct to Grand Central in the early-morning peak period.

That is pretty much all I can think of to say about Cannondale right now – I’ll be back again next week with another New Haven Line station to look at. As of right now I’ve been to roughly half of all the NH Line stations, including all of the Danbury and Waterbury branches. By the time I finish I might never want to look at a train station again :P

Do you want to let everyone on the train know how well educated you are? Some “well educated” fashion may be just what the conductor ordered… It has always been my dream to have a “stupid people” clothing line… actually, no, I just made that up. But here are three delightful shirts that you can actually own – you can not only be the most well educated train rider, but by far the most fashionable!

Interested in being the best-dressed on your train? Get your own shirt by clicking on the design you want below!

By now you’ve likely seen the video that last week became a viral sensation – namely a woman arguing with a conductor (and getting kicked off of) a Metro-North train. Uploaded Tuesday by YouTube user Zanzibar78 (real name Casey, age 33, who has now gone “missing”), the video was picked up by a wide range of websites, including the Huffington Post, Gawker and Gothamist. The person that uploaded the video likely had no clue how popular it would get, and has since shut their YouTube account down. But of course, this is the internet. Nothing ever really gets deleted here. Other people who downloaded the video have reuploaded it… and in case you didn’t actually see the video, here it is:

Again, I must say, this is the internet. And most unfortunately for the obnoxious woman, the video was sent to so many people (especially locals) that by Friday afternoon she had been identified. I’m going to refrain from posting her name, but it isn’t hard to find via a google search. Information from her internet profile coincides with information she stated in the video (namely, she’s originally from Garrison), so the ID is likely accurate. Her LinkedIn profile as well as her presence on Twitter and Facebook have been deleted, but need I say it again? This is the internet. People took screenshots of it all before the deletion, and you can find those easily via search as well… including some rather strange photos taken from her Photobucket account before that too was deleted. Someone has even made a fan page for her on Facebook, touting some of her best quotes.

Does this whole situation sound familiar to you, though? It does to me. Have you heard of the “Dog Poop Girl“? The woman was a subway rider in Seoul, South Korea, where she would occasionally take her dog. One day, the dog pooped on the floor of the subway, and despite other passengers asking her to clean it, she refused and got off the train. Someone, of course, took pictures, and she too was identified and harassed via the internet.

And yes, I said harassed – as much as I love this video, as much as I know that maybe, just maybe, this girl will have some sense knocked into her, I also know that someone will take it too far. It doesn’t take much to figure out her address, or even her phone number. But all of that would be, most definitely, going too far. The whole internet now is familiar with what education this girl has had – but she is now becoming “well-educated” in the school of internet vigilantism.

Here is my public service announcement to everyone – you should be nice to your conductor. If you’re an asshole, your picture might just wind up on the internet… especially since there are plenty of sites like Subway Douchery, and Kiss My Commute that would just love to post your picture. Even I’ve been known to post pictures of obnoxious people from time to time. Honestly though, I really shouldn’t have to say this. When you get off the train in the evening, why don’t you say “Good Night”? Or in the morning say “Good Morning.” And maybe “Please” and “Thank You” too. It isn’t hard. After all, it is a conductor that gets your drunk ass home on New Years, and put up with so many people’s crap on a day to day basis. I’ve heard people say things to conductors that I would never even type on this blog (and I certainly have no qualms about using the f-word, these are way beyond that).

Seriously though. Good morning, good night, please, thank you – this is basic stuff you should use throughout your life – not just on the train. Be a nice person, and don’t wind up on the internet. You probably won’t enjoy it if you do.

Ah, Zimbabwe. What exactly can I say about you? You have beautiful landscapes and interesting people, but your president-for-life (not officially, there are “elections”) has run your economy into the shitter…

Case-in-point: I am now a trillionaire.

Mind you, I was told if you wanted a loaf of bread (back when the Zimbabwean currency was actually used – the country now uses either the US Dollar or South African Rand for transactions), you’d need to wait in line at the grocery at 4AM, and of course have that one trillion bill in hand. Despite how poor some of these people are, I really have to say that Zimbabwe has some amazingly talented folks. Young kids that sat around and painted, or people that churned out drawings and carvings in order to sell to the tourists to make a buck… or trade for just about anything (clothing, shoes, pens, bubble gum, they were very much intrigued with sticky-notes). I certainly wished I had brought along more things that I could have given to people – I did trade my brand-new flip flops for a carved wooden basket, and a bag of fruit and a few dollars for a very large carved giraffe (which was a joy to bring home on the plane!!).

One of the ways Zimbabwe makes their money is charging exorbitant fees for entrance. They probably don’t care who comes knocking on their door, as long as they pay the money for the visa. Bringing your own car? There’s another fee for that, too. Because the fees were so high, when I crossed the border into Botswana (and later, back into Zimbabwe), the driver dropped us off at the border, and we had to walk across for another driver. The cars and drivers don’t cross – far too expensive for that. So in terms of train travel, there really aren’t many passenger trains that do cross the border – the fees for cars are high enough, I could only imagine the charge for a train (though there are fancy tours like Rovos Rail that do cross the border, the cost for some of these tours is more than I make in a year, so my assumption is that border crossing charges do somewhat inflate that price).

There is, however, a steam train company in Victoria Falls that goes onto the Victoria Falls Bridge, and sits there so passengers can view the sunset. When investigating about this train, I was quoted a price of $90 dollars per ticket. Just so you are aware, it is probably around a mile from the train station to the bridge – and there was no way in hell I was paying $90 dollars for that (that is a damn expensive mile!). So I never did take a train in Zimbabwe, but I did get some pictures at the station. Included are also some photos of the Victoria Falls Hotel. The hotel is located right next to the station, and they have a private entryway to the platform, on which they seriously roll out a red carpet. For anyone who might ever happen to be in the area, I suggest checking out the hotel. Even if you aren’t staying there, you can still check it out and have tea or a meal. There is a good view of the Victoria Falls bridge from there, and the walls have plenty of old photos of trains and the Victoria Falls station.

In my previous post, I gave a little bit of preliminary information about the Premier Classe train journey that I took in South Africa. Before I continue, perhaps I should share with you a few facts about the infrastructure of the rails in South Africa – things I wasn’t aware of when I made my journey.

• The Passenger Rail Association of South Africa (PRASA) operates both the Metrorail (commuter rail in urban areas) and Shosholoza Meyl (regional and long distance trains). The Premier Classe falls under the Shosholoza Meyl.

• 40% of PRASA’s fleet of trains are more than 37 years old. One third of the fleet is “constantly out of service, leading to poor performance, safety and reliability.”

• 86% of PRASA’s signaling installations have exceeded their design life.

• For freight service, “derailments have led to costly delays… The average cancellation of trains amounts to 10 trains per day due to accidents and other security incidents such as theft of copper cables.”

To make a long story short, the infrastructure and equipment being used by the railroads in South Africa is not that great. Much of the equipment is outdated, and additional difficulties are caused by theft, or as I was told, even by people leaving junk on the tracks. The eight hour delay my journey suffered is probably closer to the norm than a random fluke. So, provided you are prepared for some obnoxious delays (don’t plan anything for the day you are supposed to arrive – I missed my tour of Johannesburg!), I probably would recommend the Premier Classe train to any railfans that may be pondering a visit to South Africa. There is absolutely no way a plane ride can compete with the amazing views you will see from the train. And you will see it all – the gorgeous mountains surrounding Cape Town, farms as far as the eye can see, wineries, and even more less savory things.

Cape Town has the dubious honor of having quite a financial disparity between its citizens – from the sprawling mansions along the beach to the shack settlements on the outskirts of the city. And from the train, you will see various shack settlements – homes constructed from whatever scraps of corrugated metal could be found, with the roof scraps held in place by an array of heavy rocks or bricks. Perhaps you’ll even see some of the settlement’s younger denizens pelting the train with rocks. In fact, some of the things I saw are even difficult to put into words – folks using the tracks as a toilet, billowing black smoke from burning tires, and even the aforementioned children running around with flaming bits of wood in hand, with various patches of grass aflame (in case you think I was exaggerating, I do have one photo of the burning grass). Even the destroyed remnants of a freight train derailment littered the sides of the tracks at one point.

If my goal was to sell you on the Premier Classe, I think thus far I’ve failed… in fact, you probably are scared for your life. Did I mention gorgeous mountains? Beautiful sunsets? And hell, if your train is as late as mine was, you might even see TWO sunsets! Your train, zooming through the late afternoon sun, may race with the wild ostriches right outside your window. And of course you can glimpse all of this while stuffing your face in the dining car. Four-course lunches and five-course dinners are the standard on the Premier Classe. And if there is one thing that South Africans know how to do well, it is to feed the tourists. If the food on the train sucked, I’d probably be pretty pissed off. Need I say again, eight hours late? I was less than thrilled. But how can one stay mad when being fed tasty chocolate cake – with ice cream to boot?

A shitty photo of what tasty cake may look like

Well, that pretty much concludes my set of photos from the Premier Classe. Perhaps next week I’ll post some photos of the train that I didn’t ride in Zimbabwe. And if you don’t mind the off-topic, some lions and elephants and such.

Back in the days of Imperialism, where Africa was carved up and occupied by various European nations, there was a man by the name of Cecil Rhodes that had a dream. And it wasn’t exactly tricking the world into thinking diamonds are incredibly rare (though as the founder of the diamond company DeBeers – he had a significant role in that), it was the dream of a railway stretching across Africa. Rhodes’ dream – the Cape to Cairo Railway – was never realized. Though portions of it were built, the British colonies never achieved a direct line from Egypt down to South Africa. Today, some tourist agencies offer Cape to Cairo rail tours, taking the train on the pieces of rail that do exist, and either flying or busing over the parts that don’t. I think this is what first captured my interest about Africa, and I decided I would love to go ride the trains there. The only difficulty was that these train tours (specifically Cape to Cairo) were extravagantly expensive – some of them costing more than my yearly salary. Sticking to one country, South Africa, was probably my best bet. Enter the Premier Classe train.

The rail route between Cape Town and Johannesburg for tourists is serviced by a few different companies. Both the Blue Train and Rovos Rail are quite fancy – and with their one way ticket price of around two to three-thousand dollars, well out of my price range. The Premier Classe, however, is still a bit fancy with with five-course dinners and such, but has a ticket price of around three-hundred dollars. I pretty much booked my trip entirely around the Premier Classe train, which has two departures weekly, and it was supposed to be the highlight of my trip. Instead, it was a massive frustration.

I have a bit of difficulty in retelling my experiences on the Premier Classe. Did I enjoy it? Was the food good? How were the accomodations? Well yes, the train was enjoyable, the food was amazing, and the accommodations were pretty good. If the train wasn’t about eight hours late, it probably would have been a spectacular journey! I never got to see anything in Johannesburg (beyond the airport) – as the train was so late we missed our tour. I thought I’d at least be able to walk around the train station and take photos while waiting for the train, but I was told that first of all, it probably wasn’t safe, and secondly, my camera would be quickly confiscated by the rifle-carrying police officers roaming around the station.

In Cape Town began the game of people attempting to determine how my friend and I were related. Though friends and coworkers were never suggested, there were a few people that thought we were either sisters, lesbians, or even mother and daughter. In the case of the Premier Classe, they just thought my friend was actually a guy.

Cape Town station wasn’t exceptionally beautiful – probably a bit too sterile white for my taste – but there were some gorgeous tile mosaics on the floor and walls. The outside had a few mosaics of early trains, horsecars and omnibuses, one of which I did manage to get a photo of. Since I have so many photos of the journey, I’ll be doing two parts. This first part appropriately shows the first part of the journey from Cape Town.