This morning I arrived into White Plains train station and was surprised to note the downstairs benches were completely empty. Many times I find myself at this spot looking for an open spot, only to find the seats completely full. Or other times there are a few empty seats… but empty for a reason. People generally like to keep a distance from the station crazies… the winter coat man has been around frequently this week (despite some of the days being quite warm), deeply engrossed in conversation with himself. But not even he was around today. Complete emptyness. I wondered if today had been a holiday I was unaware of, and nobody had work…

Though I soon learned the lack of people was due to train delays… the delay announcer was stuck on permanent loop, reading the name of every train coming northbound from Grand Central. According to the radio on the bus, a train got stuck at Scarsdale station… and according to my friend who was apparently on that train, the first two cars actually had smoke in them. She showed up to work rather late and a bit dishevelled, and talked a bit about angry passengers demanding refunds. Didn’t hear much else other than that though… but hey, I’m not complaining. At least *I* had some peace and quiet :D

In other news, the campaign of passenger passive aggressiveness continues, and today we were rewarded with angry mumbling of “this is outrageous!” in addition to the normal angry glares. This situation will likely resolve itself in one of several ways… 1.) The lady drives her car to work, 2.) The lady takes the number six to work, 3.) The lady complains to the bus company about the passengers being assholes to her. Hmm, I have a feeling it will be number three. And of course the bus company would be too nice to reply to her and say, well stop being an asshole to the bus driver!

Before I go, one more additional observation… fried chicken may not be the best meal to eat on the train. Yes, I do get rather annoyed when people leave their food trash on the trains, you COULD just take it with you when you get off and throw it in the trash… but come on, ziploc bags full of your picked clean fried chicken bones? That is just nasty.

Yes, I ride the Harlem Line. What I don’t mention as frequently is that I also ride an employee shuttle for folks that work in our building and surrounding buildings. The shuttle is always interesting… and there always seems to be some sort of drama. When I first started riding, the driver was a man named Evans Dempster. He was a very nice man, my first day on the job I was very confused about how to get from the train station to work. And then at work, all the buildings looked the same. Evans was kind and helpful when I needed the help… I was nervous as hell that day, and I owe him my thanks. Unfortunately a minority of passengers that ride the shuttle are extremely vocal and must enjoy complaining. They said he drove too fast, they said he drove too slow… eventually Evans got fed up enough with these idiots that he left and never returned. Which was rather unfortunate… Evans, if you ever happen to see this, thanks!

Sometimes the complaints were about other things than the driving. Our shuttle only seats twenty-five passengers, but many days we have more than that. People have to stand. A month or two ago a person called and complained about having people standing in the aisles. They didn’t like it. In response, the shuttle introduced a new rule… twenty-five only. If you didn’t have a seat you were kicked off. This pissed people off. This pissed me off. I regularly arrive ten to fifteen minutes before the shuttle arrives, and I always get a seat. But the kicking people off bit didn’t seem very fair. Where men once stood aside to allow ladies to go first, mutual respect went out the window. I had been predicting a fight to break out by the end of the week… but it didn’t happen. The “rule” was revoked after two days… but much speculation went on as to who exactly was the complainer. We’re pretty sure we figured it out…

Fast forward to last week… the bus was following a car that stopped short to turn, and they hadn’t used their turn signal. The bus driver braked, people got a little jostled. It was certainly not the driver’s fault in that incident… but the aforementioned complainer figured it was right about time to call up the shuttle company and complain yet again. This sort of made everyone else that rides the shuttle annoyed. We *like* the shuttle driver. He does a good job. Enough complaints could put his job in jeopardy… and that is wrong. So what can we do in a situation like this?

Sure we can say that the driver does a good job… but that lady that complains will always be around, and will always be vocal about it. So us riders decided to be a little passive aggressive towards this woman. She always is a tad pushy so she can be the first onto the shuttle, and selects the seat closest to the front so she can be the first person off the shuttle. Not being able to sit in the first row of seats really bugs her. Collectively a bunch of us riders decided that we would all sit in the front of the shuttle in order to push this lady to the back. It seems like a little thing to do, but it pisses her off, and we find it absolutely hilarious to see her get all huffy and annoyed.

Yesterday we pushed her back to the third row, but that was not good enough. Today we got the cooperation of twelve total riders in order to fill the first three rows of seats, pushing her back to the fourth row. In the time it took for everyone in the first three rows to leave the shuttle, this woman almost missed her train. Almost. Just enough to piss her off, to make her squirm. We had a good laugh about it, as she stared at us in anger.

Next time don’t be an asshole. And say thank you to your shuttle driver. Because if you have a problem with the shuttle, get your ass over to the Bee Line buses and take the fucking six.

I believe this is the the third week I’ve been taking a new train to work in the morning. I sort of got tired taking the train that came down from Wassaic… Golden’s Bridge was the last stop before White Plains, so there were always few seats, and lots of pushing and shoving to be the first to get in the doors of the train. Ten minutes earlier there is another train that is much less busy, and I can always find a seat without any difficulties.

Of course, there are still odd folks, as there are on probably every train. I made a post a week or so back about people drinking beer on the train on their way home… clearly those people are not cool. You can only be cool if you drink beer in the morning on the way TO work! Shoppers at Target of Mount Kisco, if you smell alcohol on a sales associate at around 8am you probably aren’t imagining it!

Today there was an intriguing man making a complete mess all over the train. There was a puddle underneath him, flowing into the aisles. Up against his crotch, he held a half-empty one gallon jug with water inside. It was a very odd way to be holding it. The lid was pointed down towards the floor, which I assume is where the puddle was coming from. If the jug was pointed the opposite way, I totally would have thought he’d be peeing in it. Thankfully I got off the train shortly after.

Yesterday my “lesbian lover” also made an appearance at the train station. She has an office down the hall from me at work, and the extent we speak is pretty much an occasional “good morning” or things of that nature. A few months back the woman turned up at the train station. She must have felt awkward being around hundreds of strangers, because she saw me and must have thought “That girl! I recognize her! Let’s have an awkward conversation, even though we’ve never talked and I really don’t know her… but hey, at least I know her more than all these other strangers!!” Another coworker that I wait with at the train station, didn’t realize she worked at our company as well, and was entirely convinced that she was a lesbian attempting to hit on me. Yesterday was the second time I’ve seen her at the train station. She didn’t see me, perhaps that is a good thing.

Lastly, I went looking for my chapstick in the bottom of my bag and instead of being able to find it, I found some delightful handouts I’ve received in the past few weeks. I recall seeing a bunch of people standing in the train station lobby looking all suspicious one day, and then they gave me this card:

(at least that is better than getting asked by an obnoxious man about fifty million times whether I was a registered member of the Democratic Party, like I did this morning) Oh, and my personal favorite, the “Jesus literature”. Those people are always passing shit out at the train station. Hey, at least I got one in ENGLISH this time!

In other news, Jesus literature does not burn very well. In case you like, wanted to make a fire with it or something. Just putting that out there…

Did anyone notice the delightful little flyer that was left on our trains yesterday? The one in the shape of a footprint, that said “Wiggle Your toes in the grass…” and on the back had safety tips? Well, I didn’t think it was very convincing, so I designed a new flyer for Metro North. This new one is oh so much more professional, and it has pictures! Doesn’t everyone just LOVE pictures?

If you buy a monthly ticket to ride Metro North then I am certain you noticed the increase in fare on your July monthly. We all knew it was coming, and I guess I am happy that the increase was not nearly as bad as it was supposed to be. Anyways, I always wonder about people who take the train down from Wassaic to Grand Central. I personally don’t know anyone who does… but there must be at least a few of them. But it is a long and expensive ride…

Before the fare increase:

After the fare increase:

$372 to $412… an increase of $40. Wow…