While waiting on the platform, I noticed a woman acting a little strangely while pushing a baby carriage. Not like, strange enough to call the police or something, but just odd. She was pushing the carriage, but it was covered over with a large blanket. If a kid was inside, it would have been suffocating. Every couple of minutes, she would kneel down over the carriage, lift the flap, stick her head inside, and talk. Actually, thinking back, it was pretty damn weird. You see those “See Something, Say Something” posters everywhere, and that was kinda suspicious…

Once we got on the train though, I did happen to notice that the woman wasn’t talking to a bomb or anything like that… she was attempting to conceal a cat strapped into the baby carriage.

One evening I was meeting a friend for dinner, so I took the train from White Plains to Grand Central (as opposed to my usual train, going in the opposite direction). The train was completely packed, just about every seat taken. That is, except for one three seater, where a woman had removed her shoes and was laying across the seats with a laptop. I disgustedly passed by her in search of a seat, but another woman was not content to ignore this idiot. I most certainly thought a fight was going to break out between the two women. The lady that was lying across the seats did actually sit up and move over, but I don’t think she realized what was so obnoxious about laying down on a full train.

I am a lover of hats… they keep me warm. I have a grand collection of them, plain hats, silly hats with ears, all varieties. Several years ago I made frequent use of a baby blue hat, which had a black unicorn embroidered on the front. Perhaps these hats are what attracts the weirdos to me.

One evening while taking the PATH train to New Jersey, a man attempted to steal the hat off my head while I was walking up the stairs, and he was going down.

Okay, that is fairly tame… and not that odd. The next one? A little more strange. It certainly is one of my favorite stories to tell about weird people I’ve encountered on the train. I was riding Metro North from Brewster station, and a somewhat overweight woman decided to sit next to me.

“You must like unicorns,” she said.
“Umm yeah, I guess…”
“Oh, I bet you’d love this…”

She then proceeded to unbutton her shirt, in order to show me a tattoo right above her breast. Of a unicorn. But it was far more than I wanted to see…